Chocolat
by Voldy's Worst Nightmare
Summary: Response to the daily prompt of 13th July by the United States Enterprise forum. Jim pulls a group of friends and some new cadets together and concocts a plan... to get Spock drunk. Rated for randomness.


Chocolat

**Disclaimer: CHEKOV IS MINE! None of the other characters of Star Trek are mine, just Chekov because he's awesome.**

**Summary: response to the Captain's Daily Prompt on the United Starfleet Enterprise forum. A new Welsh Cadet, Izzy Matthews, together with her friends Bailey McKellar and Carly Tenibad, Jim Kirk, Sulu, Chekov and Scotty attempt to get Spock drunk on Chocolate.**

…

"Hey! Pavel!"

Ensign Chekov turned round to find Izzy Matthews, newly assigned to the _U.S.S Enterprise_ and due to join them when they set off after shore leave, jogging over to him and grinning.

"Hello Izzy," He smiled, "What are you doing awake so late?"

"Important meeting with Sulu and the Captain," she replied, her thick welsh accent making it difficult for the Russian Ensign to understand her, "Sulu said to bring you along,"

"Why?" Chekov was confused.

Izzy grinned, "We're getting the commander drunk."

…

"So; our plan of action," Jim grinned, "Scotty? Izzy? You've been working rather closely in engineering for the last few days; any ideas?"

"He gets drunk on chocolate," Izzy grinned mischievously, "So I'm thinking if we give him some of that Bailey's stuff, because the human part of him might get drunk on that and the Vulcan part will get drunk on the chocolate bit,"

"Or we could just get him really cold and give him some hot chocolate," Sulu added.

"Or," Scotty grinned, "We could challenge him to a drinking contest and get him drunk that way."

"Wouldn't work," Jim commented sadly, "I tried that. I'll never forget the hangover I had the next morning."

Izzy chuckled, "I think Bailey's Chocolate is our best bet. That or putting chocolate chips in everything,"

"That sounds fun," Sulu grinned; Chekov nodded enthusiastically.

"_Da_, we should do zat," he exclaimed, "It sounds very fun,"

"Yeah," Izzy replied, "but he'd notice that, and he never touches chocolate so he'll be a _total_ lightweight and if we don't _tell_ him that it's the chocolate Bailey's he's drinking…"

"Izzy," Bailey, who had been having a heated debate about the benefits of Vulcan officers in Starfleet with a now sulking Carly, "That is the best plan of action I've ever heard in my life."

"It does sound pretty awesome," Carly conceded, "But what'll happen to Spock when he gets drunk?"

"He'll get sent to McCoy for his first ever hangover cure, most likely," Izzy replied somewhat dismissively, "we won't give him too much chocolate, just enough to get him a little drunk and then we'll avoid it. Promise."

"And how exactly are we going to persuade him that drinking Bailey's is a good idea? Scotty asked.

Everyone looked at Jim.

"Why's it always me?" he groaned; but he was grinning from ear to ear.

…

"C'mon, Spock, have a drink,"

"I am not going to have a drink with you, Jim," Spock replied, "I seem to remember that last time you go so drunk we had to take you to the infirmary."

"That was once."

"It still happened,"

"Hello Commander!" Izzy called from where she, Carly and Bailey were sat at the bar, drinks in hand, "Hi Captain! Pull up a pew!"

The Vulcan and human did so and sat with the three cadets.

"I'm so excited about Saturday!" Izzy grinned, "First time ever in space! It's gonna be awesome!"

"It only gets better," Jim promised, "The more you see the more amazing it gets; trust me,"

"I hope so," Izzy replied, "I seriously can't wait – aren't you two drinking?" she asked, pointedly noticing their empty hands.

"I'm trying to persuade Spock but my natural wit and charm aren't working today," Jim grinned.

"Wit and charm?" Izzy asked innocently, "And where, may I ask, do you hide those little personality traits beneath the serious and egotistical exterior?"

Jim pretended to take offence for a few moments.

"Come on, commander," Carly suggested, "You should try the Baileys here, it's really nice,"

"You see?" Izzy grinned, "It's not only the irresponsible ones who are suggesting you wind down for a while – Carly's doing it too."

"Absolutely not," Spock replied, "I'm not going to risk Jim trying to get me drunk on alcohol again,"

"Please?" the three girls put on their best adorable puppy faces. Jim, by this point half drunk on the very strong drink in his hand, attempted to join in, but gave up and focused his attentions on the glass.

Spock sighed, "Very well, _one_ glass,"

Izzy grinned and ordered the drink for him.

"No, no," she interrupted as he began to take out his wallet in order to pay for the drink, "My treat – a sort of apology in advance for being assigned to the _Enterprise_,"

"There is no need to apologise for things that haven't happened yet," Spock replied, taking a sip of the newly arrived drink and failing to notice Jim giving Izzy an inconspicuous thumbs up from behind him; the plan was underway.

For some reason, getting Spock drunk only required two glasses of chocolate Baileys and a chocolate-chip muffin. The latter of which, after the former had been consumed, was eaten in a slightly drunken dare on the part of Jim.

Within minutes the usually logical Vulcan commander was announcing his undying love for Carly, insisting that Bailey and Jim would be a perfect couple and singing drinking songs with the already paralytic Scotty, Sulu and Chekov.

"Where did you learn those?" Izzy asked curiously.

"I learned them from my lovely friendies!" Spock giggled, hiccoughing and joining in a rousing chorus of "Kaffoozalum"

"Commander," Carly began, "You're stupidly drunk. Why don't you go and rest somewhere?"

"Eet eez ze way wiz ze Chocolat!" He slurred before collapsing to the floor, senseless.

Izzy chuckled as she sipped her cider; her work here was done.

…

"I am never going out for drinks with them ever again," Spock groaned as McCoy fixed up a hangover cure for him.

"Just don't have anything with chocolate in it next time," McCoy replied, ignoring Spock's wincing in disgust at the cure he'd been given.

"Morning, Bones!" Izzy called brightly, skipping in with a particularly squeaky trolley of medicines and causing a fresh wave of nausea in the commander, "And how are you this find morning, Commander?"

"Apology accepted," Spock replied.

Izzy chuckled, "If it helps I was acting on Jim's orders,"

Spock groaned and buried his face in his hands; this, of course, meant war.

…

**TA-DA! That is the end of the oneshot! :D**

**Review to tell me how stupidly OOC they were when drunk! :P**


End file.
